Danger Monkey, age 10: “Can I have more steak please?”

Me: “Well, we’re all splitting just one steak, so none of us are having very much.”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I want more steak, too.”

Me: “You kids are making a Viking dad very proud.”

LMT: “No, I want a bigger piece than that. You need to buy more steak next time.”

DM: “Yeah, this is not enough steak.”

Me: “I think I’m going to tear up.”