Math Problem

Danger Monkey, age 10: “This math problem is really frustrating.”

Me: “Can I help you with it?”

DM: “No, it’s OK. I understand the math, but the story problem is all wrong.”

Me: “Those can be tough.”

DM: “There’s no way 15 kids chose Fettuccine Alfredo over pizza or tacos.”

Me: (long pause)

Me: “I’m so glad I get to be your Dad.”

Chili Men

Me: “Son, there are few things in this life that make a Viking Dad happier than helping his son learn how to make chili from scratch. I’m proud of you.”

(much hugging)

Danger Monkey, age 10: “I just followed your guidance.”

Me: “I helped steer you, yes, but you did it all. You even diced the onion yourself.”

DM: “My chili smells really good.”

Me: “It will get better the longer you let it simmer. But, as one chili guy to another chili guy, I’ll give you the honor of the first taste test.”

DM: (dips spoon, tastes his chili)

DM: “By the Gods of Olympus! That is delicious!”

Me: …

DM: “That means I really liked it.”

Me: “Yeah, I know.”

DM: “Are you crying?”

Me: “Maybe a little.”

Meat the Kids

Danger Monkey, age 10: “Can I have more steak please?”

Me: “Well, we’re all splitting just one steak, so none of us are having very much.”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I want more steak, too.”

Me: “You kids are making a Viking dad very proud.”

LMT: “No, I want a bigger piece than that. You need to buy more steak next time.”

DM: “Yeah, this is not enough steak.”

Me: “I think I’m going to tear up.”