(at county fair)
(walking past a booth)
Booth Lady: “You are wonderful.”
Me: “Um… OK.”
BL: “I’ve seen how much food you’re buying, and only from the local charity booths.”
Me: “Yeah, I try to support the local stuff. It’s a great way to help out, and I get to eat lots of fun food.”
BL: “So, who all are you buying the food for? Your family? Or are you here with a group?”
Me: “Well, actually… mostly just me.”
BL: “WHOA. You ate ALL of that?”
Me: “No, not all of it. I shared.”
BL: …
Me: “I mean, I ate most of it.”
(long pause)
BL: “Well, the charities all appreciate you.”
Me: “I like to make an impact.”
I would have lied my altruistic ass off:
Me: (without missing a beat) Yes, I have a busload of starving orphans in the parking lot.