Me: (groaning)

Danger Monkey, age 9: “Why are your muscles so sore?”

Me: “I lifted a lot of weights at the gym last night, remember?”

DM: “My muscles don’t get sore like that.”

Me: “You’re young. And mine don’t hurt nearly as much as I thought they would.”

DM: “Why not?”

Me: “Maybe I’m more in shape than I thought.”

DM: “No, that can’t be it.”

Me: (glaring)