Me: “How is your turkey sandwich?”

Danger Monkey, age 9: “It’s OK, I guess.”

Me: “Yeah, between you and me, turkey is kind of dull. What could we put on there to make it better? Maybe mayonnaise? Avacado? Sliced tomatoes?”

DM: “How about ham… and bacon!”

Me: (pause) “You make me so proud, son.”