Cannoli Prep

Me: “This is your first time ordering cannoli, so you need to know a few things before the waitress serves it.”

Danger Monkey, age 9: “I do?”

Me: “Yes. First, she won’t just set it down. They actually throw it to you from the aisle. You’ll need to wear a special mitt to catch it and then mash it down onto your plate.”

DM: “Whaaaaat?”

Me: “Don’t worry, cannoli mitts are totally edible. Just crush it all up together.”

DM: “Wait. Really?”

Me: “And you can’t eat cannoli with a fork. You have to throw pieces up to your mouth. If you try to use a fork, little cannoli ninjas will come out of the ceiling and take your dessert.”

(giggling)

DM: “What? I think you’re making up…”

Little Miss Thing, age 6: “Hey! I just saw a cannoli ninja! No, he’s gone. He’s hiding again already.”

(giggling)

DM: “Yah! I saw one, too! He just slid down a rope and jumped behind that plant!”

(much giggling)

(waitress appears and unceremoniously plops down a cannoli, walks away)

(long pause)

DM: “Well, that was boring.”

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