Me: “Hey, wanna go out for dinner tonight?”
Wonderful Wife: “I really don’t feel well. I have a horrible headache and the lymph nodes in my neck are swollen.”
Me: (typing on my phone)
Me: “I looked up your symptoms. I’m afraid you only have a few hours to live.”
WW: (heads into kitchen)
Me: “What are you doing?”
WW: “Making pop tarts and chocolate Quik. If I’m dying, that’s how I want to go out.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Are we home yet?”
Me: “Almost. Maybe an hour.”
LMT: “I’m bored.”
Wonderful Wife: “Here’s an app called Duolingo. You can learn Spanish.”
LMT: “I don’t want to learn Spanish. I’m bored.”
WW: “Probably best. If you learned Spanish, you and your sister could speak Spanish together.”
Me: “Yeah, you better not learn Spanish. You two could say things like ‘Daddy’s Feet Stink’ in Spanish and I wouldn’t even know it.”
LMT: “Give me that!” (evil laughter)
(30 minutes later)
LMT: “I’m now 3% fluent in Spanish. Soy una niña. That means ‘I’m a girl’.”
Me: “Yep. You sure tricked us. Better not learn any more Spanish.”
LMT: (evil laughter)
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Mom, why are you a vegetarian?”
Wonderful Wife: “It’s a long story.”
LMT: “Tell me the whole thing.”
WW: “I don’t like the taste of meat.”
LMT: “That wasn’t a long story. That was only one sentence.”
WW: “It’s the short version.”
Very Vocal Viking 