Wonderful Wife: “Why are you downstairs again? I tucked you in an hour ago.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I cant sleep. You didn’t tell me a story.”
WW: “There once was a little girl who couldn’t sleep…”
LMT: “I like this story.”
WW: “… so her Mom gave her extra chores, like cleaning the cat litter.”
LMT: (pause)
LMT: “I hate this story.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Daddy, why do you have white hairs in your beard?”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “He has them in his hair, too. See… there, and there, and there. All over.”
LMT: “They’re kind of silver. How did they get there?”
Me: “They’re called grey hairs. It just happens naturally as we get older. Almost everyone over 40 has some grey hair.”
DM: “Really?”
Me: “Yes, really.”
DM: “So… I’ll get grey hair when I’m old?”
Me: “Yup. It’s totally natural and nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I kind of like my grey hair.”
LMT: “Everybody?”
Me: “Yup.”
LMT: “Wait a minute… Mom doesn’t have any grey hair.”
Me: (long pause)
Me: “Nope, she sure doesn’t.”
Wonderful Wife: “How was school today, Son?”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “He went to the…”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “Nooooooo!!! I forbid you from saying anything for me!!!”
Me: “Whoa, man. Let’s not command your sister.”
DM: “Why not? It’s important.”
Me: “Because if you ask politely, I’ll help you enforce it. If you shout commands, you’re on your own.”
DM: (deep thinking)
DM: “Can you please not blurt out details of my day?”
LMT: “Sure.”
Me: “There. Doesn’t that seem better?”
DM: “No. She’s a blurty blurter. I don’t think she’ll stop without a threat.”
Me: “Believe it or not, it’s not about her. It’s about how we treat people. You’ll get better results with polite requests.”
DM: (dubious look) “We’ll see.”
Very Vocal Viking 