Wonderful Wife: “You need to be totally ready for the bus in five minutes. You don’t want to miss the bus on the first day of school.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “But, I AM totally ready.”
WW: “No, you’re not. Now go finish getting ready.”
LMT: “I AM READY!”
(long pause)
WW: “I recommend shoes and socks.”
LMT: (looks at bare feet)
LMT: “Oh, yeah.”
(runs off)
Wonderful Wife: “I’m sick.”
Me: “I’m feeling terrible myself.”
WW: “Nope. We can’t both be sick. I called it first. Suck it up, buddy.”
Me: (long pause)
Me: “I feel better already.”
Me: (hugging)
Wonderful Wife: “OK, I think the hug is over now.”
Me: “Nope. I’m not done yet.” (hugging)
WW: “I’m done.” (struggling)
Me: “Good. Good. Let the hate flow through you.”
(long pause)
WW: “I don’t think that’s something couples are supposed to say to each other.”
Very Vocal Viking 