Wonderful Wife: “Please rub my arm. I think I may have pulled a bicep muscle.”
Me: (rubbing arm)
WW: “ow ow ow it hurts ow it hurts I’m going to pass out I’m going to pass out I’m going to punch you in the face and then I’m going to pass out.”
Me: “You get very violent when you’re in pain.”
WW: “Actually, I always want to punch something. The fact that I haven’t punched you yet is very remarkable.”
Me: (slow blink) “You really should write Hallmark cards.”
WW: “I really should.”
Dinner at a restaunt.
Little Miss Thing, age 6: “Looonge. Lunge. Loongey.”
Me: “What are you saying?”
LMT: “I’m reading that word on the wall. What is L-O-U-N-G-E?”
Wonderful Wife: “It’s the word Lounge. It’s a French word for You can’t go in there.”
Me: “I hate going to bed sick.”
Wonderful Wife: “Here, have some NyQuil Severe.”
Me: (slurp)
Me: “Aaack! It burns so much going down! Did it finally happen? Did you just poison me for the insurance money?”
WW: “No. If I ever poison you, I’ll choose poison that makes you die quietly without complaining so much.”
Me: “Good to know.”
Very Vocal Viking 