Me: “What? Why are you downstairs? I tucked you in 15 minutes ago.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “You didn’t do it right.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
LMT: (produces book)
Me: “What’s this? The American Girls Babysitting Guide Book?”
LMT: “Page 61. It says when you tuck in children, you should sit and read to them.”
Me: “Well, that’s more of a suggest…”
LMT: (running up stairs) “I already have a book picked out for you.”
Me: …
Wonderful Wife: “She did provide documentation.”
Me: “I blame you.”
Wonderful Wife: “Why are you downstairs again? I tucked you in an hour ago.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I cant sleep. You didn’t tell me a story.”
WW: “There once was a little girl who couldn’t sleep…”
LMT: “I like this story.”
WW: “… so her Mom gave her extra chores, like cleaning the cat litter.”
LMT: (pause)
LMT: “I hate this story.”
(at tuck-ins)
Me: “OK, son, it’s time for lights…”
Danger Monkey, age 10: (lying still, eyes closed)
Me: “Oh, I see he is already asleep.”
DM: …
Me: “He’s definitely not faking sleep. He’s definitely really, really asleep.”
DM: …
Me: …
DM: …
Me: …
DM: (cracks smile)
Me: “Very few people smile in their sleep, you know.”
DM: (eyes pop open) “Dang it. I always fall for that.”
Me: “Fall for what? I was just staring at you.”
DM: “Yeah, but I KNEW you were staring at me.”
Me: “You’re not a very good faker, and that’s OK.”
DM: “I know.”
Me: “Besides, your little sister does enough faking for the entire family.”
DM: “She really does.”
Very Vocal Viking 