Abide… but quickly

(at drive-thru window)

Fast Food Window Guy: “That will be $8.57 please.”

Me: “Here’s my debit card.”

FFWG: “Hey… you know who you look like?”

Me: “I have a guess.”

FFWG: “Yeah… The Dude. You look just like The Dude, man.”

Me: “Yes. Strong similarity.”

FFWG: “Cool. I bet you get that a lot.”

Me: “I do, actually. Very often. Especially when I’m wearing a bathrobe.”

FFWG: “Haha! Bathrobe, right. That’s sweet.”

Me: “Sweet.”

(long pause)

Me: “Can I have my food?”

FFWG: “Oh… yeah.”


Stock boy: “Ever see Big Lebowski?”

Me: “Yes.”

SB: “You look like The Dude.”

Me: “You know, I get that a lot, actually.”

(Long pause)

SB: “I didn’t just offend you or anything, right?”

Me: “The Dude abides.”

SB: “You’re awesome, man.”