Stay Calm and Ask Mom

(setting up workstation)

Me: “Oh, CRAP.”

Wonderful Wife: “What’s wrong dear?”

Me: “CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP”

WW: “Is there a problem?”

Me: “I have to setup my work PC so I can work from here but I can’t connect to wi-fi and my laptop isn’t’ connecting because wi-fi says Limited and I have to figure this out or I’ll have to drive home or something but the wi-fi is too weak so maybe I’ll setup on the back porch or maybe I have to go find a Starbucks but that really messes up my plans and this is just not working out and I think I’m going to lose my…”

WW: “OR… use the hard wired internet connection right here with this LAN cable hanging out of it.”

Me: (slow blink)

Me: “That could work.”

Gas Support

Gas Company Dude: “We fixed the gas line. If you want, I can come in and re-light your pilot lights.”

Me: “Yah, better you than me. I don’t know much about that stuff.”

(five minutes later)

GCD: “Your appliances are all self-lighting. You should be fine.”

Me: “Should?

GCD: “Well, if the furnace doesn’t re-light after three tries, you can flip that switch there and wait a couple minutes and then flip it back.”

Me: “So, turn it off and back on again?”

GCD: “I thought you didn’t know furnaces.”

Me: “Apparently, it’s pretty similar to computer support.”