Two out of Three

Me: “To cut back on calories and save money, I’ve decided to not order a shake with my dinner. I’ll just help the kids finish theirs.”

All three kids: “No way! I’m not sharing!” (much clamor)

Me: “OK, I guess I have to respect that.”

(I go back up and order my own shake)

Little Miss Thing, age 6: “I’m full. You can have the rest of mine.”

Danger Monkey, age 9: “Yeah, I can’t finish mine either.”

My Oldest, age 15: “Hey, don’t look at me. I’m no quitter.”

Peppered With Questions

Me: “Everyone needs to eat a few of these sweet red pepper slices.”

Little Miss Thing, age 6: “No way! I hate spicy peppers!”

Me: “These aren’t spicy. They’re sweet and you will like them.”

LMT: “You can’t make me eat them.”

Me: “Actually, I can.”

LMT: “No. I wont.” (pouting)

Me: “Just eat… three slices.”

LMT: “Nooooooo… ” (whining)

Me: “Just one slice.”

LMT : “I hate them!” (much whining)

Me: “Two bites.”

LMT: “No no no no no no no no…”

Me: “One bite. Final offer.”

LMT: (weak baby voice) “o… k… if I have to…” (takes a tiny, tiny bite.)

LMT: “Hey, these are good.” (immediately snarfs two pepper slices)