I guess I looked kinda weird standing by myself in the bra section at Target. Sales lady gave me a dirty look and asked if was shopping for bras for myself or someone else.
I said I was shopping for me, thank you very much and do you have training bras in 62A?
She didn’t laugh. She kinda turned red and huffed and left, I assume to go get security.
Warm up your DVRs folks… I think I’m going to be on the news tonight!
Me: “You know, honey, having the same BFF for the last five years is nice, but keep in mind that you and she will probably drift apart someday.”
My Oldest Girl, age 13: “Oh, it won’t be a drift. There will be a boy involved, and it will involve knives and restraining orders.”
Podiatrist office. Tiny, ancient couple. She’s bent over a clip board, writing, as he sits at her elbow.
Her: “Are you still 88?”
Him: “What?”
Her: “ARE YOU STILL 88?”
Him: “I already ate.”
Her: (pause) “Yep, still 88… and still deaf.”
Him: “Why does a foot doctor want to know if I ate lunch?”
Her: “Oh, go back to sleep.”
Very Vocal Viking 