Danger Monkey, age 9: “What is this?” (pokes with fork)
Me: “Those are grilled onions, my son. I noticed you’ve been eating raw onions for the last few weeks, so figured you should try them the way they should be eaten: slowly fried until they are golden, caramelized and delicious.”
DM: “But, now they don’t give me a breath weapon.”
Me: (slow blink)
Me: “Noted.”
Wonderful Wife: “What’s wrong, Honey?”
Little Miss Thing, age 6: “Those girls won’t let me be the Mommy.”
WW: “Well, playing is all about compromise. Even when you have employees, yes they technically have to do what you say, but you still try to compromise to keep everyone happy. And you definitely have to compromise when you’re playing.”
LMT: “OK.”
WW: “So do you know what you need to do?”
LMT: “Yes – I need to pay them so they have to do what I say.” (runs off)
WW: (slow blink) “That was NOT the lesson I was going for.”
Me: “That bumper sticker just says BELIEVE. How are we supposed to know what to believe?”
Wonderful Wife: “Journey really should have been more specific.”
Me: (slow blink) “Was that a pop music reference?”
WW: “Yes. Was it right?”
Me: “I love you so much.”
WW: “I know.”
Very Vocal Viking 