Walking into an elementary school, arms full of heavy backpacks. I come to a big heavy fire door that I can’t possibly open myself. Suddenly a tiny 2nd grader boy appears and opens the door.

Tiny dude: “I’m holding the door for you.”

Me: “Yes, and thank you very much.”

TD: “You are welcome, big hairy guy.”

Me: ….

Formerly of Martinsville

Overheard in Martinsville.

Really loud woman: “Hey, Dave! Dave! What ever happened to your daughter?”

Dave: “Which one?”

LW: “The one that got kidnapped.”

Dave: “She wasn’t kidnapped. We figured out she’s living with a guy up in Indy.”

LW: “Oh, no.”

Dave: “Looking back, I wish it was kidnapping.”