Witness Protection

Me: “I think I’ll start posting selfies on Facebook.”

My Oldest Girl, age 13: “Really? Can I have $6,000?”

Me: “What? Why?”

MOG: “That’s how much it costs to change my identity.”

One ticket to Xanth, please

Bought My Oldest Girl, age 13, a tattered old paperback copy of the first book in the Piers Anthony Xanth series, A Source of Magic.

Such great memories – like an old, old friend.

And talk about a portal to another world. Wow. I hope you love them like I did, kiddo.

Dusty in here… Is someone cutting onions?

(We see girls wearing ripped jeans)

Me: “Ooh, are ripped jeans in again?”

My Oldest Girl, age 12: “Yes, they’re very popular.”

Me: “Cool! I’d love to start wearing all my old ripped jeans again.”

MOG: (pause)

MOG: “No, I was wrong… Ripped jeans are NOT in. Let’s pretend I never said that.”