Me, via text: “Hey, make sure you eat dinner before I pick you up.”
My Oldest, age 13: “We don’t have what you would call appropriate dinner eating food.”
Me: “Really? No food?”
Oldest: “Well like cereal or candy.”
Me: (pause)
Oldest: “OK, we have leftover pot roast. But seriously, nothing appropriate to eat.”
Me: “So you want to go out to eat.”
Oldest: “Best. Dad. Ever.”
Teenage daughters were invented to remind us that, no matter how smart or educated or funny you think you are… some people are just going to tune you out.
High school orientation with My Oldest, age 13, and her mother. Jammed in packed high school auditorium, waiting for program to start.
Lots of talking and whispering.
Me: (loud whisper to her mom) Hey… How much will you pay me to run up on stage and start dancing?”
Oldest: “Daddy!”
Random dad from row in front of us: “I’ll put up $10.”
Dad in row behind us: “Yeah, I’m in for $10 to see that.”
Oldest, sinking into her seat: “Oh… My… God.”
Very Vocal Viking 