Better By Daddy

My Oldest, age 16: “I bought new wiper blades, but can you put them on my car for me?”

Me: “It would be better for me to show you…”

Oldest: “Please, Daddy? I’ll pay you with… love… and… love. That’s all I’ve got.”

(long pause)

Me: “As you wish, dear.”

Snooze to Me

(settling into bed)

Me: “Sorry it took me a bit to get to bed tonight. Good night, dear. Sleep tight.”

(long pause)

Wonderful Wife: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Letting you go to sleep. You’ve  been saying all night how tired you are. So, let’s go right to sleep.”

(long pause)

WW: “Dont forget the seven.”

Me: “Huh? The seven what?”

WW: “Seven… Eleven.”

Me: “OK. What about it?”

(pause)

WW: “What about what?”

Me: “You said don’t forget the Seven Eleven.”

WW: “I may be… hallucinating.”

Me: “I think you’re just falling…”

WW: (soft snoring)

Me: “… asleep.”

(soft kiss on forehead)

Me: “Goodnight, Sweetie.”

No One Does

Me: “I love you.”

Little Miss Thing, age 6: “So what?”

Me: “So, that means you’re my super special girl, and I’ll do anything for you.”

LMT: “You’ll do anything?”

Me: “Yes. Anything.”

LMT: “Will you… buy me all the candy I want?”

Me: “No.”

LMT: (pouts) “I don’t understand love.”

Me: “No one really does.”