My Witness

My Wonderful Wife: “Did you brush your teeth?”

Little Miss Thing, age 5: “Yes.”

WW: “Good. Let me smell your breath.”

LMT: “… No.”

WW: “Seriously. Let me smell your breath.”

LMT: “I think I forgot to rinse. I’ll go do that now.” (runs off)

WW: “I cross examine witnesses all day and never realized it was a parenting skill.”

What were you thinking

A brief treatise on the thought processes behind morning snuggles.

The Adults: “How nice. Warm soft snuggles.”

The Teenage daughter: “How nice. Warm soft snuggles.”

The Nine Year Old Son: “How nice. Warm soft snuggles.”

The Five year old daughter: “Oh, look. Four people calmly snuggling. I will stand on them and do gymnastics.”