Total Agreement

Wonderful Wife: “I love what we did with the yard for the party. It looks so nice. I feel like we should put on crisp linen suits and walk around the yard.”
Me: “I completely agree.”
Me: “Except the suits.”
Me: “And the walking.”

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Pressed

Me: “Hi. I need my suit cleaned and pressed today, please.”

Dry Cleaner Lady: “Sorry, can’t do it for today, hon. You have to get it in by 9 am for same day pickup, and even then you can’t pick it up until after 5.”

Me: “Oh, I didn’t realize.”

DCL: “Yah, sorry. See, it’s on the sign here and everything.” (points at sign)

Me: “Oh.”

DCL: “We really can’t make exceptions.”

Me: “Sure. Of course not.”

DCL: “Thanks for understanding.”

Me: “Of course. Really, I understand. Thank you for your time.”

(two steps toward door, turns back)

Me: “Just by chance, do you know of any other cleaners that could do it today? It’s for my Mom’s funeral tomorrow, so I have to find someone who can do it today.”

(long pause)

DCL: “We’ll have your suit ready for you by 3.”

Seeing Less of Me

Two months ago, as I got ready to attend my wife’s Christmas party, I was surprised to discover I couldn’t button my suit jacket. The closest I could get the two sides together was still about an inch apart. I wore it anyway, of course. I didn’t button it and hoped no one noticed the tightness in my jacket. And my shirt. And my pants. It made for a really uncomfortable evening of being self-conscious.

That night and many other anecdotes have given me more willpower to be more careful about what I’m eating, and to start exercising regularly. I’ve found that, for me at least, processed carbs make me actually more hungry later, so I’ve tried to cut them out. I’ve gotten to the point now where I’m forgetting to eat. But I’m trying – with some success – to have 3 or 4 small concentrated, protein-heavy meals every day. I’m eating mostly meats, cheese, eggs and any fresh veggies I want. It’s all delicious stuff and I’m just not hungry all the time. Which means I’m eating a lot less overall. Which is nice.

Yoga has been a delightful surprise. It’s so chill and calm, and incredibly low impact. It’s just stretching and holding positions where your muscles are flexed and working. It’s deceptive, though, because my muscles are burning for a couple hours after each session. I’m gaining real strength, and regaining some of my chill. Which is nice.

I’m two months into struggling day to day to make some real changes. I’m happy to announce that, as of today, not only can I button that suit jacket, but the sides overlap by about an inch. Which is nice.

When all else fails, try eating less and exercising. You’ll be surprised.