Dinner party. Food and drinks are free but the lines are long. So I’m sitting in a recliner and paying my kids $0.25 per trip to go get me drinks and little plates of appetizers. They are thrilled and keep squeeing, “Now I’m rich!” Best money I’ve ever spent.
Tag: DM
It Drives Her
Danger Monkey, age 9: “You should copy me.”
Little Miss Thing, age 6: “OK, climb on the copy machine and I will copy you.”
DM: “No, you’re taking my idiom literally. Do you even know what an idiom is?”
LMT: “Um… YES.”
DM: “An idiom is something that isn’t literal. Like, you’re driving me crazy.”
LMT: “I can’t drive you crazy!”
DM: “Right. It’s not literal.”
LMT: “No, I’m only 6. I don’t have a drivers license.”
Lost in Translation
The sounds of arguing drift down the stairs.
Danger Monkey, age 9: “It’s a free country!”
Little Miss Thing, age 6: “But it’s my bedroom!”
Danger Monkey, age 9: “It’s a free country!”
Little Miss Thing, age 6: “But it’s my bedroom!” (repeat 10 times)
Me, shouting: “Hey! You two upstairs! I don’t care what you’re arguing about but you need to use your brains and your words to come to a creative solution to your problem. Don’t just shout the same things at each other over and over.”
DM: (whisper) “What did he say?”
LMT: (whisper) “He said you’re kicked out of my room for the rest of the day.”
DM: “Awww, man!”
Very Vocal Viking 