Family cuddle piles, in theory:
“I have never felt so warm and safe in my life. I love you guys.”
Family cuddle piles, the reality:
“Ow! My kidney!”
“Whatever. You still have another one.”
Tag: DM
First and Last
Danger Monkey, boy age 9: (screech) (screech) (screech)
Me: “WHAT WHAT WHAT is that horrible noise you are making?”
DM: (slow blink)
DM: “I’m not sure but this may be the first of my dolphin super powers.”
That’s Not Right
(Dog farts.)
Me: “Dog, you stink.”
(Dog farts again)
Me: “Dog, if you don’t stop farting, I’m going to duct tape your butt closed.”
Boy: “Daddy, that’s not right. Don’t duct tape her butt closed!”
Boy leaves the room and comes back, holding up a circular object.
Boy: “Let’s use masking tape instead.”
