Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Daddy, guess what I did at school today.”
Me: “Learned to fly?”
LMT: “Incorrect. Minus five points from Griffyndor.”
Me: “Wait. What…?”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “I think I’m Ravenclaw. If Daddy is Griffyndor, what are you?”
LMT: “I’m a dog, so I’m in… DoggyTime.”
DM: “There’s no House called Doggytime at Hogwarts!”
LMT: “You’re not a dog, so we can’t tell you about it.”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “That’s not how Mom does it.”
Me: “Well, she’s not here and I am. It’s a whole new paradigm.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “What does paradigm mean?”
DM: “It means he’s not as good at watching us as Mom is.”
Me: “Hey, it’s really cold. What is taking so long to get into the car?”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “I dropped my book. I think while taking off all my weapons.”
Me: (slow blink)
Me: “How many weapons do you have?”
DM: “My elven sword and my bow. But don’t worry, I don’t have any arrows.”
Me: “I love you, dude.”
DM: “Whatever.”
Very Vocal Viking 