Tag: DM

Egging Him On

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Danger Monkey, age 10: “Dad, why did the Easter Bunny leave the Easter eggs?”

Me: “Actually, it’s an interesting history. Easter originated as a pagan holiday that was appropriated from ancient worship of Oester, goddess of fertility. Her symbols included rabbits and eggs, which has morphed into the odd concept we know today as the Easter Bunny.”

DM: “Nope. The correct answer is because the Easter Chicken was too chicken.”

Me: …

Me: “Oh, so you were making a joke.”

DM: “Yeah, and you were WAY OFF.”

Me: …

Blurty Blurter

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Wonderful Wife: “How was school today, Son?”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “He went to the…”

Danger Monkey, age 10: “Nooooooo!!! I forbid you from saying anything for me!!!”

Me: “Whoa, man. Let’s not command your sister.”

DM: “Why not? It’s important.”

Me: “Because if you ask politely, I’ll help you enforce it. If you shout commands, you’re on your own.”

DM: (deep thinking)

DM: “Can you please not blurt out details of my day?”

LMT: “Sure.”

Me: “There. Doesn’t that seem better?”

DM: “No. She’s a blurty blurter. I don’t think she’ll stop without a threat.”

Me: “Believe it or not, it’s not about her. It’s about how we treat people. You’ll get better results with polite requests.”

DM: (dubious look) “We’ll see.”