Things I Get To Say, School Carnival Edition:
“No, licking off the icing and throwing away the cupcake is not ‘Low Carb’.”
“It’s pronounced BYOOT. There is no such place as BUTT Montana.”
“You can keep the balloons in your shirt, but you must stop yelling, ‘I’VE GOT BOOBS’.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Grandma, look! I’m wearing heels!”
Grandma: “Oooh… Pretty. How is your balance?”
(LMT falls)
Grandma: “Oh no! Are you OK?”
LMT: “I fell on my butt.”
Grandma: “Did you hurt your bottom?”
LMT: “It’s OK. It already has a crack in it.”
Grandma: (stunned silence)
Danger Monkey, age 9: “I will never do chores again in a million years!” (giggling)
Me: “(laughing) Well, then I guess it’s time for a million spankings.”
Little Miss Thing, age 6: “Quick, run for your life!” (giggling)
LMT: “No, wait… run for your BUTT!”
Very Vocal Viking 