Wonderful Wife: “You need to be totally ready for the bus in five minutes. You don’t want to miss the bus on the first day of school.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “But, I AM totally ready.”
WW: “No, you’re not. Now go finish getting ready.”
LMT: “I AM READY!”
(long pause)
WW: “I recommend shoes and socks.”
LMT: (looks at bare feet)
LMT: “Oh, yeah.”
(runs off)
Wonderful Wife: “I’m sick.”
Me: “I’m feeling terrible myself.”
WW: “Nope. We can’t both be sick. I called it first. Suck it up, buddy.”
Me: (long pause)
Me: “I feel better already.”
(at county fair)
(walking past a booth)
Booth Lady: “You are wonderful.”
Me: “Um… OK.”
BL: “I’ve seen how much food you’re buying, and only from the local charity booths.”
Me: “Yeah, I try to support the local stuff. It’s a great way to help out, and I get to eat lots of fun food.”
BL: “So, who all are you buying the food for? Your family? Or are you here with a group?”
Me: “Well, actually… mostly just me.”
BL: “WHOA. You ate ALL of that?”
Me: “No, not all of it. I shared.”
BL: …
Me: “I mean, I ate most of it.”
(long pause)
BL: “Well, the charities all appreciate you.”
Me: “I like to make an impact.”
Very Vocal Viking 