Life is Fragile

(front door opens)

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Dad, I found something walking home from the bus today.”

Me: “Yes, what’s that dear?”

LMT: “I found this.” (shoves leaf-wrapped and very dead mouse within inches of my face)

Me: “Oh my…”

LMT: “It was on the front porch. Last week we found a dead bird.”

Me: “Yeah, things die. We only live for a while, and animals live even shorter lives.”

LMT: (heavy sigh)

LMT: “We buried the bird in the yard, so I’m going to go bury the mouse, too.”

Me: “OK. If that’s what you want.”

LMT: “I think that’s what she would want.”

LMT: (walks out somberly)

Me: (to myself) “It doesn’t get any easier, kiddo.”

Puppy Pressure

Little Miss Thing, age 7, created this sign and is now gathering up all loose change she finds and declaring it donations.

She sees no problem with this plan.

Doggy_Donations

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I can play the piano with my eyes closed. Someone guide me to the piano.”

Me: “You know, you don’t have to close your eyes until you get to the piano.”

LMT: (long pause)

LMT: “I need a guide dog.”

Me: “The dog is right next to you. Grab her collar and hold on tight. I’ll throw some popcorn over by the piano and you’ll get there in a jiffy.”

LMT: “Sure!” (grabs dog’s collar)

Wonderful Wife: “Uh… Do we really think this a good…”

(popcorn is thrown, dog drags girl across living room)

(stunned silence)

LMT: “That was awesome!”

WW: “If we had filmed that, we would be famous.”

Me: “I love my life.”