Me: “Good morning. Is this where you sell convention t-shirts, here at the registration desk?”
Nice Registration Lady: “Yes it is! Would you like one?”
Me: “Yes, please. I’d like to buy a 5XL, or as I like to call it — Viking Medium.”
NRL: “So then what’s 4XL called –Delicate Little Flower?”
Me: “I like that. I like that a lot. You’d make a Badass Lady Viking.”
NRL: “That’s the 3XL.”
Me: (long pause)
Me: “You just really get me.”
My Cool Dentist: “It’s been about 15 minutes. That shot should have you all numb by now.” (starts drilling)
Me: “Uh… I can feel that.”
MCD: “You said you were a little hard to numb. I already used half a cylinder of Novocain. I guess I’ll use the other half.” (poke poke stab)
(10 minutes later)
MCD: “That 2nd shot has had plenty of time to take effect, so we’re ready to drill.” (starts drilling)
Me: “Uh… I can feel that.”
MCD: “Really? Wow. OK. Nancy, get me another tube. This might numb your whole mouth, so just don’t bite your tongue.” (shoots entire 2nd tube into my jaw)
(5 minutes later)
MCD: “OK, can you feel anything now?”
Me: “Aaag cabber ffulizzz aggerrrzheeen.”
MCD: “That’s what I like to hear.” (starts drilling)
(at small town festival, spot a Viking booth)
Me: “Oh, hey! I know The Asatru Community. I follow you guys on Facebook. I didn’t know you did info booths at events.”
Booth Guy: “This is our first one. We’re trying to let people know that we’re an international organization but we have lots of regional groups that hold events.”
Me: “That’s awesome! I love all the chatter from people all over the world about what it means to them to be Viking. In fact, I just got a cool tattoo…” (obligatory tattoo show)
Booth Folks: (obligatory oohs and ahhs)
Booth Guy: “So do you attend events?”
Me: “No, I’m not what you’d call a practicing Viking. Mostly I just make Viking references and I have a blog called Very Vocal Viking, but it’s mostly just crazy stuff my kids say.”
BG: “That sounds cool. I’d read that.”
Me: “Yeah, and lately a lot of strangers have started just telling me flat out that they think I look like a Viking.”
BG: “Yeah, when I first saw you across the way, I said – that guy’s definitely a Viking.”
Me: “I guess I just have that look.”
BG: “You really do.”
Very Vocal Viking 