Me: “Let’s try something different tonight.”
My Oldest, age 15: “Nope.”
Me: “Awww, why not? We can’t always go to the same three restaurants.”
Oldest: “Uh. Yes we can.”
Me: “Where’s your spirit of adventure?”
Oldest: “There’s a reason we go to the same three restaurants. They’re good. If you want to try Uncle Stinky’s Barbeque & Foot Spa, do it on your own time.”
Me: …
Me: “That place sounds awesome.”
Oldest: “And… there’s your problem.”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “Mom, you can have my extra Fun Dip.”
Wonderful Wife: “Well, thank you!”
DM: “OK, I’ll tell you how to eat it. It’s a different kind of candy.”
WW: “Oh, honey. I know how to eat Fun Dip. Trust me.”
Me: “Yeah, kiddo. Fun Dip was around even when we were kids.”
WW: “In fact, in high school, I once poured three packets of Fun Dip on a pickle and ate it.”
Me: “Whut.”
DM: “Ewwww! Why?”
WW: “It was a dare. It was absolutely disgusting. Ask Alex Service. I cannot recommend the combo.”
Me: “Son, don’t ever do something on a dare. It never works out.”
DM: “OK. But I want to try Fun Dip on a pickle.”
Me: …
Me: “I don’t feel like I’m getting through to you here.”
My wonderful wife got me a surprise Valentine’s Day present. She’s a keeper!!!
Very Vocal Viking 