Danger Monkey, age 10: “Can I have more steak please?”
Me: “Well, we’re all splitting just one steak, so none of us are having very much.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I want more steak, too.”
Me: “You kids are making a Viking dad very proud.”
LMT: “No, I want a bigger piece than that. You need to buy more steak next time.”
DM: “Yeah, this is not enough steak.”
Me: “I think I’m going to tear up.”
Me: “Have you brushed your teeth yet?”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Yes.”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “No.”
Me: “Well, go do it right now, mister.”
DM: “Hey, where is the toothpaste?”
LMT: “I don’t know. I couldn’t find any.”
Me: “I thought you brushed your teeth?”
LMT: “Sometimes water is good enough.”
Me: “Uh… No.”
(at restaurant)
Tiny Boy, maybe age 3: “Mommy, he’s really tall! Look, Mommy! He’s really tall!”
Mommy: “Yes, he is. Now let’s concentrate on your food.”
TB: “He’s really tall. He’s really tall. Is he a giant? Is he a giant?”
Mommy: “I’m so sorry, sir.”
Me: “No, I’m not a giant. But when I was little, I ate lots of veggies and they made me extra big and strong. Do you eat vegetables?”
TB: (nods, eyes wide)
Me: “Good. Eat your veggies and you’ll grow up big and strong like me.”
TB: “I will.”
Very Vocal Viking 