Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Daddy, guess what I did at school today.”
Me: “Learned to fly?”
LMT: “Incorrect. Minus five points from Griffyndor.”
Me: “Wait. What…?”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “I think I’m Ravenclaw. If Daddy is Griffyndor, what are you?”
LMT: “I’m a dog, so I’m in… DoggyTime.”
DM: “There’s no House called Doggytime at Hogwarts!”
LMT: “You’re not a dog, so we can’t tell you about it.”
Me: “Hey, it’s really cold. What is taking so long to get into the car?”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “I dropped my book. I think while taking off all my weapons.”
Me: (slow blink)
Me: “How many weapons do you have?”
DM: “My elven sword and my bow. But don’t worry, I don’t have any arrows.”
Me: “I love you, dude.”
DM: “Whatever.”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “Jump left, Dad!”
Me: “Son…”
DM: “Go over that rock!”
Me: “Son…”
DM: “Get the box!”
(pauses game)
Me: “OK, Son. Let’s talk about the correct amount of help to offer someone when they’re playing a video game.”
DM: “You don’t want help?”
Me: “How about you work on the skill of NOT shouting out every single thing you want to shout.”
DM: …
DM: “I don’t think I’ve spent many skill points in that area.”
Very Vocal Viking 