Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Which pen works best?”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “This one.”
Me: “Works best for what?”
LMT: “Writing on my hand.”
Me: “What? No, gross. Don’t do that.”
LMT: “Why not?”
Me: “Uh, well… It looks messy. And, uh… it’s hard to get off. And it just looks bad.”
DM: “We can’t write on ourselves?”
Me: “No.”
LMT: “You mean like your GIANT TATTOO?”
Me: …
Me: …
Me: “OK, but no swear words.”
(hugging)
Me: “I love you. You are strong, smart, and beautiful.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Good. You are too.”
Me: “Thank you. I’m very proud of you.”
LMT: “Yeah, I know.”
Me: “Good.”
(long pause)
LMT: “My favorite dessert is cheesecake. I thought you should know that.”
Me: “Noted.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Are we home yet?”
Me: “Almost. Maybe an hour.”
LMT: “I’m bored.”
Wonderful Wife: “Here’s an app called Duolingo. You can learn Spanish.”
LMT: “I don’t want to learn Spanish. I’m bored.”
WW: “Probably best. If you learned Spanish, you and your sister could speak Spanish together.”
Me: “Yeah, you better not learn Spanish. You two could say things like ‘Daddy’s Feet Stink’ in Spanish and I wouldn’t even know it.”
LMT: “Give me that!” (evil laughter)
(30 minutes later)
LMT: “I’m now 3% fluent in Spanish. Soy una niña. That means ‘I’m a girl’.”
Me: “Yep. You sure tricked us. Better not learn any more Spanish.”
LMT: (evil laughter)
Very Vocal Viking 