Around here, holiday cards tend to include secret codes. Which I think is awesome, because codes are cool, and partly because it looks like the bunny is swearing.
Author: VeryVocalViking
Just your friendly neighborhood giant viking, with a lot to say about food, family life, geek culture, and the world at large.
Career Coach
My Oldest, age 15: “I’ve decided I want to have my own business when I grow up.”
Me: “That’s a great goal. Why are you driving so slowly here? It’s 55. You can go faster.”
Oldest: “I’m not sure what type of business yet.”
Me: “There’s plenty of time to choose an area of expertise. Careful… Careful… The road gets really narrow up ahead.”
Oldest: “Maybe I’ll go to business school.”
Me: “Watch out for that guy in that little red car… OH NICE TURN SIGNAL JERK FACE!!!”
Oldest: “Are you OK? You’re not even the one driving.”
Me: “Whatever. You know, I’ve always dreamed of owning my own business.”
Oldest: “Really?”
Me: “Maybe I’ll open a driving school for all these bad drivers.”
Oldest: “I… uh… I don’t think that’s suited to your skillset.”
Cashed Out
Cashier: “Do you want a bag for this?”
Me: “No, thank you. It’s just trail mix and Gatorade. I can handle it.”
Cashier: “Do you want a receipt?”
Me: “No thanks.”
Cashier: (starts bagging my stuff)
Me: “Uh, no thanks. I don’t want a bag.”
Cashier: “What?”
Me: “You asked me like 12 seconds ago and I said no bag, please.”
Cashier: “Wow. Ok, no bag. Wow.”
Cashier: (removes items from plastic bag)
Me: “Thanks.”
Cashier: (holds out receipt)
Me: …
Me: (grabs items and runs)
Very Vocal Viking 