Wonderful Wife: “I love what we did with the yard for the party. It looks so nice. I feel like we should put on crisp linen suits and walk around the yard.”
Me: “I completely agree.”
Me: “Except the suits.”
Me: “And the walking.”
Author: VeryVocalViking
Just your friendly neighborhood giant viking, with a lot to say about food, family life, geek culture, and the world at large.
Drawn Out
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Daddy, I just drew a portrait of Mama from my notepad. Do you want me to draw you, too?”
Me: “Of course! That sounds delightful.”
(perches on couch, staring at me)
(pencil scratching noises)
LMT: “No, that’s no good. It doesn’t even look like you.”
(crumples paper, throws on floor)
(pencil scratching noises)
LMT: “Nope. I hate this one.”
(crumples paper, throws on floor)
(pencil scratching noises)
LMT: “Here you go! Looks just like you!”
(hands me drawing)
Me: “Awww, honey that’s perfect. It looks just like me.”
LMT: “You can have it. Hang it up wherever you want.”
Me: “Thanks.”
Situation Normal
(at school picnic)
Wonderful Wife: “It’s been about half an hour since they checked in. Can you see our kids?”
Me: “Lemme look.”
(stands up, scans large field of active children)
WW: “And?”
Me: “Yes, I can see them. They’re good.”
WW: “What are they doing?”
Me: “He’s with a group of his friends and it looks like they’re daring each other to eat dirt. She’s chasing some older boys and throwing mulch at them.”
(long pause)
WW: “Sounds about right.”
Me: “Situation Normal.”
(sits back down)
Very Vocal Viking 