Wonderful Wife: “I’m sick.”
Me: “I’m feeling terrible myself.”
WW: “Nope. We can’t both be sick. I called it first. Suck it up, buddy.”
Me: (long pause)
Me: “I feel better already.”
Month: August 2017
I’m A Giver
(at county fair)
(walking past a booth)
Booth Lady: “You are wonderful.”
Me: “Um… OK.”
BL: “I’ve seen how much food you’re buying, and only from the local charity booths.”
Me: “Yeah, I try to support the local stuff. It’s a great way to help out, and I get to eat lots of fun food.”
BL: “So, who all are you buying the food for? Your family? Or are you here with a group?”
Me: “Well, actually… mostly just me.”
BL: “WHOA. You ate ALL of that?”
Me: “No, not all of it. I shared.”
BL: …
Me: “I mean, I ate most of it.”
(long pause)
BL: “Well, the charities all appreciate you.”
Me: “I like to make an impact.”
Shake It Up
(at county fair)
Me: “Here, shake some salt on Mom’s corn on the cob.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I’m a good shaker.”
Me: “Yes, you have mad skills. Now salt the other side.”
LMT: “NO! DON’T TURN IT OVER!”
Me: “Honey, we have to turn it over so you can salt that side, too.”
LMT: “I can do it.”
Me: “No, you can’t shake salt up.”
LMT: “I can do it. Watch.”
(violent shaking in upward motion)
(seventeen grains of salt eventually hit the corn)
LMT: “I told you.”
Me: “I should have never doubted you.”
Very Vocal Viking 