Me: “Make sure you get some fruits and veggies in addition to the General Tso’s chicken. It’s a buffet but we still need to get fruits and veggies.”
Danger Monkey, age 10: “I will. I just love General Tso’s.”
Me: “Yeah, I thought you’d grow out of it eventually, but you’re still loving it. I’m going to start calling you General Tso.”
DM: “What? Why?”
Me: “Because you are what you eat.” (snicker)
DM: “Really? Then why don’t we call you Everything?”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “I need to sleep with you tonight.”
Wonderful Wife: “No, back to your bed.”
LMT: “But I don’t sleep well in my bed!”
WW: “Just this morning I asked you how you slept, and you said OK.”
LMT: “Yeah, only OK. That just means I didn’t die.”
(driving)
(kids yelling)
(much yelling)
(so much yelling)
Me: “Kids! Too loud! That’s enough. No more yelling in the car. Never yell in the car.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “No yelling… ever?”
Me: “The only thing you’re allowed to yell is, ‘DAD IS COOL’.”
(long pause)
Danger Monkey, age 10: “In other words, no yelling.”
Me: (glaring in rearview mirror)
Very Vocal Viking 