Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Who is that guy?”
Me: “What guy?”
LMT: “The guy in this picture with Grandma.”
Me: “That’s me, honey.”
LMT: “I don’t think so.”
Me: “It’s me, just a really long time ago.”
LMT: “Like, thirty five hundred years ago?”
Me: …
Me: “Pretty much.”
Me: “Hi. I need my suit cleaned and pressed today, please.”
Dry Cleaner Lady: “Sorry, can’t do it for today, hon. You have to get it in by 9 am for same day pickup, and even then you can’t pick it up until after 5.”
Me: “Oh, I didn’t realize.”
DCL: “Yah, sorry. See, it’s on the sign here and everything.” (points at sign)
Me: “Oh.”
DCL: “We really can’t make exceptions.”
Me: “Sure. Of course not.”
DCL: “Thanks for understanding.”
Me: “Of course. Really, I understand. Thank you for your time.”
(two steps toward door, turns back)
Me: “Just by chance, do you know of any other cleaners that could do it today? It’s for my Mom’s funeral tomorrow, so I have to find someone who can do it today.”
(long pause)
DCL: “We’ll have your suit ready for you by 3.”
Guy: “Enjoying the party?”
Me: “Yeah, this is really…”
Guy: “Have you ever been asked to play a Viking in a movie or on TV? You could totally play a viking.”
Me: “Actually, friends send me lots of links of casting calls for…”
Guy: “You really look like a Viking. No offense.”
Me: “None taken, I totally embrace it.”
Guy: “You should have a TV show or something.”
Me: “I have a blog, Very Vocal Viking.”
Guy: “What? Seriously? That’s great.”
Me: “It’s not about Vikings though. Just funny things my kids say and my thoughts on life.”
Guy: “I’d read that.”
Very Vocal Viking 