Wonderful Wife: “Come help set the table.”
Little Miss Thing, age 7: “No.”
WW: “Pardon me?”
LMT: “No… thank you?”
WW: “Get to work.”
(stomp stomp stomp)
WW: “Stomping is not a valid form of protest.”
LMT: “I’m not stomping. I’m… playing Jingle Bells… with my feet.”
WW: …
(setting up workstation)
Me: “Oh, CRAP.”
Wonderful Wife: “What’s wrong dear?”
Me: “CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP”
WW: “Is there a problem?”
Me: “I have to setup my work PC so I can work from here but I can’t connect to wi-fi and my laptop isn’t’ connecting because wi-fi says Limited and I have to figure this out or I’ll have to drive home or something but the wi-fi is too weak so maybe I’ll setup on the back porch or maybe I have to go find a Starbucks but that really messes up my plans and this is just not working out and I think I’m going to lose my…”
WW: “OR… use the hard wired internet connection right here with this LAN cable hanging out of it.”
Me: (slow blink)
Me: “That could work.”
Me: “So, we’ll be in Montgomery around dinner time. Surely there’s somewhere fun and local we can eat?”
Wonderful Wife: “Hmm… this app shows what’s along our route. It looks like all chain restaurants. Oh, wait, this sounds great. What do you think of trying The Montgomery Biscuits?”
Me: “Uh, yeah! That sounds exactly like the type of awesome Southern food I was hoping to find! ”
WW: “Oh, and they even scored a 4.8 out of 5.0.”
Me: “WOW! We are totally eating there! Wait… better check their hours. They may close early on Sundays.”
WW: “Good idea. I’m Googling it right now… and…”
(hysterical laughter)
Me: “Are you OK, Honey? What’s wrong?”
WW: “We might want to keep looking. The Montgomery Biscuits is the minor league baseball team.”
Me: (slow blink)
Very Vocal Viking 