Siri-ously

My Oldest, age 13: “For Halloween this year, I’m going to be Siri. I’ll dress as an iPhone, and if anyone says anything I don’t like, I’ll just say, ‘Sorry, there are no movies with that title in your area.'”

50/50

Parenting Tip #62:

If a four year old volunteers to go to bed at 6:30 pm… you let that child go to bed.

Also, check their temperature and might as well start making alternate child care plans for tomorrow.

And, word to the wise — don’t wear your good pajamas to bed because the likelihood that Patient Zero is going to crawl into your bed in the night to then puke on you is about 50/50.