Danger Monkey, age 7: “I bet I can pack my lunch in under 2 minutes.”
Me: “No way. You goof around too much. A monkey with a brick glued to his butt could make a lunch faster than you do.”
DM: “Yeah, but he has four hands with opposable thumbs.”
Me: (slow blink)
Me: “OK. You win.”
Little Miss Thing, age 4: “Can I have a cookie for breakfast?”
Me: “No, I don’t think so.”
LMT: “Can I have… three?”
Me: “No!”
LMT: “Can I have… one hundred and one?”
Me: “You are either horrible at negotiating, or brilliant at it. I’m not sure yet.”
Wonderful Wife: “We’re going swimming at the Lake!”
Me: “Better be careful of the sharks.”
Little Miss Thing, age 4 : “REALLY??!!?”
Danger Monkey, age 7: “Sharks live in salt water. The Lake is fresh water. There are no sharks.”
Me: “Don’t make me regret giving you all those science books.”
Very Vocal Viking 