I published a book!

I finally did it! (angels sing)

My first ever book, How to Raise Viking Children and Other Tales of Woe, is now available! Like, officially. For realsies. You can get more details and even purchase a copy directly on my (very ugly) self-publishing eStore.

If you’d like a signed copy — because CLEARLY I am a famous author whose signature is VERY valuable (eyeroll) — I plan to get a table at many of the geeky conventions around Indiana/Ohio. You can always grab a signed copy and probably a healthy “show-only” discount, plus no shipping costs! I’ll be posting all the dates/locations of those opportunities on social media. And if you can’t make it to a con, just contact me and we’ll work something out.

Most of all, thank you to all my friends and family who have hounded me for years to create a book. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed making it.

Peace and Love!

Troy (Very Vocal Viking)

 

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Writer Wrong

(dinner table)

Me: “How was school today, kids?”

Danger Monkey, age 10: “Blah blah blah. You always ask us that. How was YOUR day?”

Me: “Actually, I did some cool research today on how to publish a book, something that I’ve wanted to do since I was a little boy.”

DM: “What? I thought you said you loved math and science in school?”

Me: “I loved all of it. Don’t let anyone say you have to only love one or the other.”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Then why do you work on computers?”

Me: “Because when I graduated from college I had a lot of loans to repay. So I got computer jobs because they pay more. I didn’t have the luxury of being a writer. So now some twenty years later, I finally get to be an author.”

LMT: “Why didn’t you just write a book?”

Me: “Writing a book is a lot of work. You don’t just…”

LMT: “No it’s not! I’ll write a book right now.”

Me: “That’s awesome. You do that.”

LMT: (starts walking)

Me: “You know, my class all wrote books when I was in Third Grade. Our teacher even bound them all up like real books. I still have mine, do you want to see it?”

LMT: (still walking) “Nah, I’m good.”

Me: …

(15 minutes later)

LMT: “I wrote a book.”

Me: “Sure you did.”

LMT: “Well, I have three characters and most of the plot.”

Me: “Really?”

LMT: “There are three puppies: Peanut, Cheeto, and and Stubbs. But the Mama doggy gets a bad cut on her ear and there’s blood everywhere.”

Me: “Wow. I hope she is OK.”

LMT: “She get better because all the animal friends go on an adventure to find the magic teacup to save her life.”

(long pause)

Me: “I’d read that.”

 

Write Stuff

Two big announcements today.

First, how you like those apples! I DOUBLED my ad income in July from June! This blog thing is GOING PLACES, JACK! At roughly $1.50/month, I’ll hit the $100 payout threshold in a very short 5 1/2 years! I’m drafting my work resignation letter as we speak. </sarcasm>

AdWords_Income_Jul2017

It is nice to see the ads creating at least a tiny bit of revenue. Still doesn’t quite offset the hosting fees, and maybe never will, but it’s something. Thanks to everyone for allowing me to monetize the site with ads. Hopefully they’re not too annoying.

Second, and this is real and huge to me — I have been asked to become a regular contributor on the Limestone Post magazine, with my own column. So, just like that, I guess you could call me a columnist. I’m drafting and editing the first “column” submission as we speak. Theoretically I’ll be contributing roughly every month or so. I will (of course) be announcing and linking each publication here on my blog so folks can see them.

This is a real turning point for me. I can’t express how long I’ve dreamed of being “a writer.” I’ve loved books and reading stories since I can remember. In 5th grade we had to write every day and I remember thinking it was frustrating and the words would never quite come out like I wanted. But the ideal, the dream, of being on the other side of the pages of a book, not the one reading along but the one creating and sharing those stories… pure heaven.

I took creative writing classes in college and loved it. I enjoyed that my writing seemed to actually connect with people, possibly even move them. It was fun. But then graduation sent me scurrying to not create joy as much as putting food on the table. And for 20 years I’ve been on that treadmill of paychecks and bills and paychecks and bills.

So it is no small matter to me that this blog and you wonderful folks, with your outpouring of love and support, have allowed me to achieve a major, huge, dizzying milestone toward one of my longest and dearest dreams.

I’m a writer.