Written All Over Me

(rural liquor store)

Clerk: “You heading into Indy?”

Me: “Why yes, I am.”

Clerk: “You heading to Gen Con?”

Me: “Actually… yes! How perceptive of you. Do I just have that look? I mean, I know sometimes people say I look like a viking, and I really enjoy…”

Clerk: “You’re wearing a shirt that says Gen Con.”

Me: (looks down at shirt)

Me: “Oh. Right.”

(long pause)

Clerk: “Have fun storming the castle.”

Me: “Thanks.”

(walks out)

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Jealous

Don’t be jealous, but my son is out in the woods dressed as The Dread Pirate Roberts and fighting legions of invisible bad guys with his foam swords.

Well, OK – you can be jealous.