Water Brush

Me: “Have you brushed your teeth yet?”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Yes.”

Danger Monkey, age 10: “No.”

Me: “Well, go do it right now, mister.”

DM: “Hey, where is the toothpaste?”

LMT: “I don’t know. I couldn’t find any.”

Me: “I thought you brushed your teeth?”

LMT: “Sometimes water is good enough.”

Me: “Uh… No.”

Breath

Me: “Brush your teeth, Keith. Then it’s off to bed, Fred.”

Little Miss Thing, age 6: “I already did.”

Me: “Go brush them.”

LMT: “I did!”

Me: “I’m serious. Brush your teeth.”

LMT: “BUT I ALREADY DID!”

Me: “Then let me smell your breath.”

LMT: “Fine.” (plods off to brush her teeth)

LMT: “I actually brushed them. Are you happy?”

Me: “That was the goal, yes.”