Eat Yer Veggies

(at restaurant)

Tiny Boy, maybe age 3: “Mommy, he’s really tall! Look, Mommy! He’s really tall!”

Mommy: “Yes, he is. Now let’s concentrate on your food.”

TB: “He’s really tall. He’s really tall. Is he a giant? Is he a giant?”

Mommy: “I’m so sorry, sir.”

Me: “No, I’m not a giant. But when I was little, I ate lots of veggies and they made me extra big and strong. Do you eat vegetables?”

TB: (nods, eyes wide)

Me: “Good. Eat your veggies and you’ll grow up big and strong like me.”

TB: “I will.”

Stranger Danger

On a local cruise around the bay. Big crowd. I’m entertaining the kids and tickling Little Miss Thing. She’s giggling and I’m teasing her that her name is now Fred. She decides to have her own fun and yells, “You’re not my Daddy!” Then screams when I grab her. Long stares from the entire crowd. Not awkward at all. Good times.