Herd Heard

My Oldest, age 16: “What is all that noise upstairs? Those kids were tucked in an hour ago. How can you not hear all that stomping? Are they having a dance party? Please tell me you can hear that.”

Me: “If I hear it, then I have to do something about it. Do you want to do something about it?”

(long pause)

My Oldest: “You’re right. I can’t hear a thing.”

Stomping All The Way

Wonderful Wife: “Come help set the table.”

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “No.”

WW: “Pardon me?”

LMT: “No… thank you?”

WW: “Get to work.”

(stomp stomp stomp)

WW: “Stomping is not a valid form of protest.”

LMT: “I’m not stomping. I’m… playing Jingle Bells… with my feet.”

WW: …