Me: “You’ve goofed around for three hours, so now there is no way you can possibly get all your chores done by the deadline (in 40 minutes). You have to shower, clean your room, make your lunch, and practice piano. Are you even going to try, or just lose your allowance?”

Danger Monkey, age 8: “There is no try: Do or do not. And I choose to do it.”

Wonderful Wife: “I could not be prouder of your attitude right now.”

Me: (as he runs upstairs) “But you still have to actually do it.”