Los Pies De Papá Apestan

Little Miss Thing, age 7: “Are we home yet?”

Me: “Almost. Maybe an hour.”

LMT: “I’m bored.”

Wonderful Wife: “Here’s an app called Duolingo. You can learn Spanish.”

LMT: “I don’t want to learn Spanish. I’m bored.”

WW: “Probably best. If you learned Spanish, you and your sister could speak Spanish together.”

Me: “Yeah, you better not learn Spanish. You two could say things like ‘Daddy’s Feet Stink’ in Spanish and I wouldn’t even know it.”

LMT: “Give me that!” (evil laughter)

(30 minutes later)

LMT: “I’m now 3% fluent in Spanish. Soy una niña. That means ‘I’m a girl’.”

Me: “Yep. You sure tricked us. Better not learn any more Spanish.”

LMT: (evil laughter)

Don’t Peak Too Early

Danger Monkey, age 8: “Why is chili called chilly when it’s actually hot?”

Me: “The name comes from the chili peppers in the recipe.”

Little Miss Thing, age 5: “I knew that.”

Me: “The name Chili actually comes from chili con carne, which is Spanish and means ‘chilies with meat.'”

LMT: “I knew that.”

Me: “Carne means meat in Spanish, which came from Latin, which is also why meat eaters are called… carnivores.”

DM: “Cool.”

LMT: “I already knew that.”

DM: “You don’t know everything.”

LMT: “Yes I do. I’m in KINDERGARTEN.”