Me: “You have to clean up all those art supplies before you can do anything else.”
Little Miss Thing, age 5: “ANYTHING?”
Me: “Yes, anything.”
LMT: “Can we blink?”
Danger Monkey, age 8: “I hope we can breathe.”
Me: “Just clean it up.”
DM: “My cells are all moving around.”
LMT: “Can we poop?” (much giggling)
Me: “I like your prison tats. Is that ballpoint?”
My Oldest, age 14: “Don’t call them prison tats.”
Me: “You should get a teardrop tattoo – one for every man you’ve killed.”
Oldest: “I don’t have enough skin for that.”
Me: “Your pajamas are on backwards.”
Little Miss Thing, age 5: “No they aren’t.”
Me: “Yes, they are. I can see the tag sticking out in front under your chin.”
LMT: “These aren’t my pajamas.”
(slow blink)
Me: “You win.”
Very Vocal Viking 